i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
