We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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