Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
