Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
