So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
