This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize