I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
