I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
