My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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