what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
All I want is dick and wine.
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