she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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