my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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