i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
