dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
