New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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