Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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