We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
