it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize