To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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