i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize