What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
