My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
