did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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