cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
