Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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