No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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