um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
send nudes
from the living room?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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