We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
