I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
