no. you can't hotbox the world.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
