all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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