But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
