DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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