So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
