Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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