drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize