Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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