The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
