Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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