Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
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I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize