What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
