I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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