Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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