I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
