Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
