you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
