bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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