Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
