Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
