we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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