do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize