This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize