I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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