windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize