he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize