I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
