atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she pinky promised me she was 18
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
