You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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