i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
